It has never been such an unprecedented time in relation to communication and understand our form of communication. The five love languages not only help you understand your own personality but also your reality. The real you. If you bring the real you to the table and know-how and why your mind clicks that way, you are in a far better place to have your happy ever after.
Phycolinguistic is the study of positive language. I completely believe, what we think about, dream about we bring about. I've learned through this to talk to myself in a positive way. I am enough. I am bringing the best me to the table. I am filled up with love.
*Do you know your five love languages and which you link to most?
* What resinates with you most?
* What love languages did your parents speak?
The Five love languages are vital to knowing you and knowing how to communicate better with others.
1. Words of Affirmation, are vital to me. Even when I cook something for my partner and the kids, I love hearing that it's delicious. If I do a talk, I really appreciate gratitude. To me this Affirmation is so fulfilling. When I get a text from a client saying they are moving in together, thank you or getting married I feel my cup flowing over with love.
My first love languages is Affirmation and to me giving and receiving gratitude is vital to create positive intent and bring it through my day.
When I was growing up, my Mum used to tell me I'd big legs. When I look back I always wore long skirts or trouser or suits. I hated my legs. Now I realise I was criticising myself as I feel I didn't get words of Affirmation from my Mum. We can learn to love and give Affirmation and it will come back to us. By expressing words of Affirmation to others, I got it back 10 fold. Years later I reminded my Mum about this. She had no idea I took it so personally. She then questioned what she's said to others and learned the value of positive affirmation but, honest too.
In this case I needed to be more aware that it upset me. I should have said, where exactly etc. By dealing with things there and then we don't take information into our subconscious and leave it there. We need to deal with our issues asap, through 3 simple steps.
Remember 3 things:
#Actions ... deal with it!
Don't delay and take actions if your feelings are hurt.
Then like me, you can not only get over your love language pains but make it your strongest love language by understanding it.
2. Acts of Service
My Dad is a giver and always there for anyone.
Service to others was his greatest aspiration.
It is about giving through unconditional love. He was an engineer and great with his hands. He'd never pass a guy on the road without helping others. I've also learned from this. To love means to serve I've learnt from my Dad. Being there for others (without being walked over) is a powerful act of service.
Act of Service and giving out of love should not be manipulated. Being used and treated like a servant is not true love. Giving out of choice and not fear is true love.
Albert Einstein in his later years. Einstein removed posters of isaac Newton and changed to Gandi. He believed love is more important than science.
Some people find it hard to share. "Don't expect me to do everything for you". I'm sure you've heard that before. This phrase, comes from those can't do acts of service. Be patient. We all don't speak all love languages. Make sure you understand each others love language can bring so much more love.
I used to think Mum was very selfish. She'd never appreciate anything you gave her. But to her it wasn't really the size but more her other love language, Quality Time and Listening. She would be giving out hints and I'd miss it. Gifts are in the detail. I though I had it this year. I got her a voucher for Powerscourt with me. But, all she wanted was my time to go shopping with her to Kildare Village. By focusing on her love languages I can make things even better for her. It is about listening.
You can give any token big or small that speaks that emotional love. Gifts are given without strings attached.
Anthropologists have never come across any society who do not give gifts.
Flowers might just be a daisy but it is the thought. Learn to give better and receive is a fantastic trate.
Knowing each others love language makes you aware about the size of the gift needed or appreciated. You don't want to give to big. It really isn't needed.
4. Quality Time
This is togetherness and focused attention. We have a fundamental habit to be together. This human interaction. When quality time is not the activity but the emotion. Going on a date. Texting in a balanced way. Giving and receiving, you can feel the connection through quality and friendly connection. It is about what you are hearing and being there for each others. You can feel that connection.
Do pay attention to red flags early dating. Not feeling a connection and the conversation being both ways.
Remember be have 2 years and 1 mouth, focus on this ask and be prepared to listen.
Quality Time with activities can be in a relationship where you makes an effort to link into their interest. I love horse riding my partner wasn't into it but tried it out for me. I knew it was love because that's his love language.
5. Affirming Touch
Tender love and touches. A brush on the arm and you can get a shiver down your spine.
Physical touch even a hand shake. Touching can be as small as a handshake or hug. When I see clients who are building a new relationship, the main thing I hear is "I miss cuddles". A simple touch, that is so special.
Touch receptors are throughout the body. Be respectful and build that bond can create a strong relationship.
Even early dating do ask if you can put your arm around the other if you feel they are not receptive at this stage.
Sensitive touches is a powerful feeling for Love.
If you want to bring on a spark or back that spark, do ask or bring it back. "Do you like when I touch your arm like this". Go for it, a bit further each time and slowly but surely watch the sexuality develop or hugs if that's what your looking for.
Without our senses and understanding we find it tougher to understand others.
If you want to know your love language feel FREE to contact me over the Corona times and I'm here to help.
It doesn't matter if your single or in a relationship, I'm here to help you bring more love to your life.
CallwithSharonKenny.com chat soon and make sure to link to my YouTube.
Please share and spread the love ♡♡
Love, fulfillment and happiness.
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