I had a journalist come to me the other day to discuss an article on dating over covid. She's always looked fab, Talks the talk and walks the walk. I was so surprised when I discussed doing a what's app film call, that she said "no bloody way, you would die if you saw the state of me".
You see, which is one of my favourite quotes by Cooley "It's not what I think of you. It's not what you think of me. It's what I think you think of me". She was concerned about what I thought she looked like because, she can fake her good mood over these times if she doesn't have to keep looking at herself in that little photo.
Three things to remember when dating over covid.
1. Be your authentic self. That is the best you. Be present. This is where you bond. You must match the real you, match what you're saying vocally and visually. You can tell when someone is not giving you that attention. You need to give that attention, which will create affection and then appreciation.
2. If you believe it, I'm sure you know it is more likely to happen. Dr Joe Despensia has done endless research on our thoughts and how the brain works. How that if we change our thoughts in a positive way, our feelings change and then our actions will change too.
So, in this case, I suggested to Rachel (not her real name), to put on some makeup if that made her feel better and call me back. Five mins later she called me back and her mood made changed with her actions. We had a chat about this and she agreed, even if she wasn't seeing someone it was worth putting on her makeup if it made her feel better. The article wasn't about her, but I asked her was she in a relationship and she said after three years it was recently over. She personally had no idea how she was going to get out there again. It really is about all this time, "Fake it till you make it!".
Is it really fake? I don't believe it is. 93% of our doubts come from our subconscious. We just need to put it in its place and as they say in The Secret, live in the now. We do have it within us we just need to start believing it.
I have gone through this method personally. You don't feel like making that change but you know if you want to move on, deal with your baggage, the sooner you start making that change the better. By learning from the best, Merissa Peers about the rapid transformation my aim is to make sure you don't waste your precious time looking for love and start now. First, we must believe our thoughts lead to our feelings and then our actions. "I AM ENOUGH" start by bringing back your mojo. Write it on your mirror. Rachel couldn't believe I wrote it on mine. For those of you who have read "The Matchmaker, Tools For Love", You will know how I feel about everything going back to nature. So here, see yourself as your favourite tree at the top of the hill. (some people do superhero here). Stretch up and breathe in deeply. Feel you are enough and know that when your ready you'll invite in your significant other. Here we go :) I see myself as that blossoming cherry tree spreading the love. Breath deeply and bring it on.
3. First date, enjoy the moment and stop rushing ahead thinking, does he/she like me. Stay present and they will like you and build that stronger connection. We forget to enjoy the journey because we want to know the outcome too soon. Bring your power. Watch your stance. Stand up straight and bring it in.
So by being a stronger more powerful you, you attract a like positive person. We have all felt people who make us feel awkward. Stand tall and smile and be resent and you will be happier going forward. Open up your heart your shoulders and your mind.
So sit tall, strong and confident and expand your space.
Are you sitting small now, bent over, or stronger taller and wiser. Think of people who win, they punch the air, they hold their arms high. Jessica Tracy did research noticing this and realised we are hard-wired to stretch and smile and create words linked to confidence and power. We are born knowing this. Go for it.
When have you felt that happiness and freedom and safety? Before you go on that date you need to start believing in yourself. We are attracted first to that happy smile and connection. That person who gets our vibe and our energy. Are you ready to bring that passion back into your life? That might mean someone to hug or fall asleep beside or someone more intimate? The call is yours.
Do you know what you're looking for?
I'm happy to see if you're ready for love. Join me for a free consultation and let's get love going your way.